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Before he knows it, he's on his feet, being tugged along out into the rain, and it's probably a good thing he hadn't even had time to put his shoes back on, because he's having to run to keep up with him.]
That's not...
[No. Of course. If they hurry, they won't get as wet. It's not true, he knows it's not true, but Mutsu is insisting and is happy and energetic, so he'll even give him that one, too, trailing off mid-protest with a short little laugh and a shake of his head.
...
They're absolutely soaked by the time they make it to the fields. They were soaked before they even finished crossing the garden. Not that that really matters, when the point was to just... get out for a little while.]
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Lookit that. ( They're flowering small white blossoms which is a promising sign. His other hand still holds onto Souza's hand even after they've arrived and he gives it a small squeeze, ) Looks like everything's okay after all.
( He doesn't sound very surprised. Of course everything is okay. He'd just wanted an excuse to run outside and get a little messy. He gives Souza a beaming smile, absolutely glowing with pride because this field was carefully tended by all of them, crops lovingly planted, and it's like their children and he's a proud parent too. They're still holding hands-- its like he hasn't even realized it's a thing they're doing even as he starts to swing their hands between them, )
All that worrying for nothing.
( Not that they were every really worried but let him tease!!! )
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And it's barely even discomfort in the first place.
His hand is squeezed and he squeezes back unconsciously, still not letting go, still letting his arm swing between them, still barely realizing that maybe they don't need to still be holding hands anymore. Of course they do. They're standing out in the pouring rain, looking at totally-fine crops. Kasen would have a fit with them for making more laundry to do. His skin is chilled, but Mutsu's hand is warm in his, and Souza can't help but laugh - open and sincere, a rare sound that's hardly ever heard outside of the Samonji room.]
All that... for nothing...
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Souza laughs and Mutsu looks at him as if making sure that sound he heard was both what he heard and from who he thought it came from. He's heard Souza laugh before but it's always been a polite chuckle, an amused sound at some of his more ridiculous shenanigans or something one of the tantou did. This one was light and honest....
All of that... for nothing? )
Ya laughed. ( And he's beaming, absolutely proud of himself right now. He's managed to make Souza laugh and it's beautiful, ) I wouldn't call that nothing.
( Laughing loudly as the rain falls and the thunder rumbles, )
Do it again! I wanna hear it again!
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I... did? [He hadn't quite noticed, unused to doing it as he was.] Ah- but... we were worried... for nothing... weren't we?
[Or at least that was the pretense of getting up and running out through the rain. They both knew it was actually because Mutsu was restless and wanted an excuse.]
Ah- how?
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I dunno... ya feel good, right? Good enough to wanna laugh? So try to feel like that again.
( Because that's how feelings work. )
What makes ya so happy ya can't be quiet? Like running in the rain! Checking on the gardens! Knowing everything's all good!
( Like all of the above and still holding hands. )
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[But that was a spontaneous feeling, one that left with the sound and was unlikely to return just like that. He didn't doubt Mutsu could summon up that sort of happiness from inside himself, but Souza?
If only he could.]
I... don't know... It was all just...
[Everything, all at once, the silly, pointlessness of it all, the excitement on Mutsu's face, being soaked through, unrefined, with muddy feet and ankles and yukata hems. Still holding hands in the pouring rain.
It's not something he can just summon up.
At least he resists the impulse to apologize for it.]
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He was but.. He didn't know... it was just...
Gods, he wishes Souza would stop that, he thinks and he can feel his heart starting to beat in his chest. Weird. He thought he was used to this beating sensation by now... )
Just say what ya're feeling in your heart. ( Beating, beating, ) It's easier if ya don't think so much.
You can do it.